Thomas Jefferson

Amanda Onalaja

September 14, 2009

Pd. 2 –Ms. Brown

Thomas Jefferson is one of our founding fathers; he along with several other men signed the Declaration of Independence and is the reason why today we don’t hail to a queen. He was a man who fought against slavery, ironically he dabbled with slaves in his personal life, but furthermore he helped certify a holiday celebrated across the U.S. In his autobiography he writes of the trials with trying to ratify the declaration along with the departure from English rule. In the passage, Jefferson describes the days leading to the declaration’s signing and the original and revised versions.

The Declaration itself is an evident appeal to pathos. The comparison between the original and revised version highlights the change in tone from the change in diction. The passage isn’t as harsh; it holds a calmer and refined tone as if it’s holding back its true meaning. “… The present king of Great Britain is a history of unremitting injuries and usurpations”, the underlined portion was replaced with “alter”. Another example, “[The king of England] has suffered the administration of justice…” the underlined portion was replaced with “by”. The original diction had more power because the phrase were uncommon and stronger than there new substitutions.

Not all of the Declaration was replaced however. In fact, paragraphs were removed. An entire paragraph on the king’s neglect toward his people has removed. I suppose congress wanted to stay on task and write of their new found independence rather than their dislike and disloyalty to monarchy. It almost seemed like a persuasive essay on why the king was considered bad instead of proclaiming themselves free.

Coincidently, given Jefferson’s history and his relationship with slaves, I found some excerpts to be highly hypocritical. “He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns and destroyed the lives of our peace”, it sounds as if these are the words of the Native Americans, the same inhabitants of the Americas that we’ve come to claim as our territory. It’s ironic how the declaration was about securing the liberties of man; however they were for the white, northern man. The entire passage appears patriotic, but how can it be if its notions don’t apply to all men?